Yes,  Florida has Disney World, The Space Center,  Busch Gardens,  great beaches and mostly great weather (those occasional pesky hurricanes are worth a demerit).  But we’re also known as Florida, Land of Snow Birds, Canada South, The Place Where New Yorkers Come to Die, and my personal fave - God’s Waiting Room.  Put another way . . . we’ve got a lot of elderly people here.

 

I’m not anti-elderly - my hubby is, shall we say, eligible for all the senior discounts out there.  And because I feel the need - he’s 20 years older than I am.  Ironically, my hubby is a native New Yorker so he was all for moving to Florida.  I love the beach, I love the weather (most of the time) and it’s a great place to raise a kid.

 

It’s a horrible place to drive in.  The worst time is November through the end of April when our population swells with retirees driving their motor homes pulling their cars behind them.  Full-timers like me joke about the Canadian license plate - Je Me Souviens is Canadian for “I’m going to make right turn from the left lane without looking or using my turn signal.”  The actual translation is  “I believe.”  Apropos since I do believe they will run me down.

 

Yesterday I had a run-in with a Believer.  Very white bread accident.  She was fumbling with her cell phone and rear-ended me at a traffic light.  Suggestion #1 - If you were gathered in the living room with your own children on December 7, 1941 listening to FDR proclaim it ,”A date which will live in infamy.”  You shouldn’t be driving and you sure as hell shouldn’t multi-task on a cell phone.  Now, I have a metal SUV and she had a plastic, white sedan - want to guess who won?  Truth be told, I was more concerned about her being injured as I jumped out of my car.  (She didn’t know how to turn on her hazard lights as we blocked one of the turn lanes on a fairly congested intersection.)  After making sure she as okay, we did the whole insurance thing, retold the story to the officials who arrived on the scene (The first thing out of her mouth was “It was my fault.”).  Then I had to go home and call insurance companies.  I told them neither of us had been injured and that the damage to my car was minor but that I needed to take it to the dealership to have it put on a lift so they could check the under-carriage (SUV - high; Plastic car - low).  I’m not a mechanic so there was no way I was going to sign the release her insurer wanted to fax to me to close the matter.

 

I won’t bore you with the litany of details, but I have an IPG - and no, you shouldn’t know what that is.  It’s an implanted computer with small - human-hair sized wires that make my leg work.  As the day progressed, I noticed my IPG was weakening (it has a recharging system that I strap on).  I did a full charge and by 4 o’clock, IPG wasn’t working at all.  I said some choice words, then tried my Dr’s office - they were gone for the day.  Then I called crash dummy’s insurance company and told them that I MAY have an injury.  ‘May’ because I have a small device I can use to adjust the IPG.  They have much more sophisticated equipment and sometimes they can just reprogram the thing and slap it back into shape.  That will be my 9:00 call this AM.

 

Crash Dummy’s insurance company wasn’t very pleased.  I then explained that for a brief time, I worked in a general practice law firm.  I’d seen my share of whiplash claims (soft tissue injuries that can neither be proved nor disproved) and I’d watched as people had miraculous recoveries as soon as the PIP ($2500.00 medical that every driver should have but some drop to save $40 on their insurance) benefits ran out.  I was completely upfront with the guy.  Like the car - I can’t tell him what’s wrong with the IPG until I see the doctor, the tech and have an x-ray to see if they can detect movement (not really helpful because even the smallest movement can screw the whole thing up.

 

The only thing I’m really pissed about is timing.  If something is wrong, surgical repair is the only option.  I’m going on a cruise next week and I can’t nor do I want to do it with staples from my thigh to my ankle.  I have a small window between cruise and Thrillerfest but that doesn’t mean the doctor or the tech will be available.

 

So, send me good thoughts.  When the IPG doesn’t work, every step I take feels like I’m stepping bare-footed on a lit cigarette.

 

 

Owweee, Rhon. Sorry you're having IPG problems and I hope they're easily fixed. Legitimate injuries and problems sometimes aren't apparent until the day after or the day after the day after an accident so never tell any body you aren't injured until you know for sure!

OUCH! Sorry you have a boo boo and yeah, crappy timing. Sending good vibes your way that its quickly fixable...without surgery!
The stingrays are waiting to be fed!